Today I’d like to introduce you to Julie Sunne, our Guest Blogger this week. Julie has been married to her husband, David, for nearly 23 years and is a full-time mom to three amazing boys and a miracle daughter. In her spare time she writes, speaks, and edits. She is passionate about celebrating “the least of these” and living life by faith in the love of Jesus Christ, not by earthly circumstances. Gardening, knitting, kayaking, hiking, reading, and doing just about anything else outdoors occupies the remaining seconds of her days. Julie and her family reside in a state park in Northeast Iowa where she posts her thoughts at juliesunne.com.
Hot, breezy days grow shorter. Jars of fruit preserves, apple sauce, and green beans line basement shelves. Sweet corn freezes hard in quart bags. Summer wanes, autumn approaches. I love this time of year, yet there is an element to it that makes me wish for June again.
It’s not the impending harshness of winter that dampens my enthusiasm. I enjoy each season as a refreshing break from the previous one. My hesitation comes from a mother’s heart …for this is the time when many of us begin kissing our children goodbye in the early morning, not to greet them again until mid-afternoon.
It is back-to-school time.
Often we discuss how to help our children adjust to school days. Today, though, I’m offering a different look at transitioning: this time from a parent’s point-of-view.
Every August since 1999, when my oldest began kindergarten, I’ve felt the back-to-school jitters. Wishing I could be a fly on the wall of their classrooms, I’d pray for understanding teachers, supportive Christian friends, and a willingness to learn on my children’s part. … And that I’d get through the first few days without melting in a sea of tears or wandering aimlessly until we were together again.
It isn’t that I don’t have activities to occupy my time. There is plenty to do. But I want to be there to protect and support them, and nothing seems as enjoyable or meaningful without my children around. I miss them when they are gone. Plain and simple.
I love being their mother. And although I’ll be the first to admit they push my buttons and get on my nerves at times, there is an emptiness when they are gone. This year, I’ve really had to come to terms with releasing as my oldest, Daniel, goes off to college 450 miles away. To be honest, the back-to-school jitters hit already in January for this reluctant senior mama.
When my children were little, I thought each year would get a little easier, that eventually I wouldn’t feel the sting as I usher them off to school. And in some ways, perhaps it has. I am certain each of my boys know their way around the school. That they know to call home if there are concerns. That they have made friends through the years. That they have the ability to learn in a classroom setting. I have put a team together to allow my daughter who has global developmental delays to get the most of her education, to be loved and accepted, to feel she belongs. There is a safety net in place for all my children, and we’ve equipped them well.
But still every year I have to force myself to go school shopping. I put off registration to the last minute. I anticipate the feeling of emptiness that settles in as they go off to their first day of school.
This year, though, as I processed through my son’s impending college departure, I realized something I never had before about back-to-school time:
Although He gave them to me for a season to raise and nurture, He didn’t just hand them over and back off. The Lord was, and is, active in and through me to bring my children to the other side as a shining light for Him. Where I am weak, He is strong. Where I lack, He completes.
Although I have to release them—a little at first and much more as they grow—God never does. He guides them, protects them, comforts them, and calls them. When they become confused, He will clarify. When they are lonely, He holds their hand. When they are homesick, He reminds them that this is not their permanent home.
Resting in the knowledge that He is an integral part of their schooling, I can begin to welcome each season of release as an opportunity for growth in faith, for me and my children. Each year, “back to school” is not an end of relationship and companionship, but the beginning of another chapter in our walk with the Lord, where with each turn of the page, each of us, parents and children, draw nearer to our Creator.
In other words, back to school is not really about good-bye but hello. (However, you can be sure, as I bid farewell to my college-bound son, the jitters [and tears] will still remain for me—mama style.)
“Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows” (Luke 12:6-7 NIV).
Share in the Discussion: Do you feel the “back-to-school” jitters more than your children? How have you seen God’s faithfulness?
Living Above the Laundry Pile 